


Big Brother

by nanuk_dain



Series: Drift Compatible [34]
Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Angst, Drifting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-04-10 07:48:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4383380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanuk_dain/pseuds/nanuk_dain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chuck meets Yancy Becket in the most unexpected way. Especially considering that Yancy is dead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Big Brother

**Author's Note:**

> My dear readers, I have a question for all of you: I've been wondering if you'd like me to repost all the fics of this series as chapters of one story so that you can download them in one go instead of having to download each fic separately (why isn't it possible to download an entire series at once, anyway?)? I know that I often have very limited internet access and find it very annoying (and often expensive) to have to click each fic of a series I want to read... And since we've reached some 30 parts already (and more to come XD), that's a lot of clicking. 
> 
> So let me know: **Would you like to have the Drift Compatible series reposted as a fic with chapters to make downloading easier?**
> 
> **Edit:** After a wee misunderstanding I need to add that I'd repost the stories of the series in one multi-chaptered fic **in addition** to keeping them as separate fics. It's not meant to replace the current arrangement, it's just meant to make it easier for people like me who have limited internet access ^^

_Hong Kong Shatterdome, 17th January 2025_

 

Chuck wakes to the feeling of fingers carding through his hair. It's accompanied by the comfortable warmth of a body that he's pressed up against, and the sound of a strong, regular heartbeat underneath his ear. He smiles and gently rubs his nose against Raleigh's throat without opening his eyes. He loves his scent, and just for the fun of it Chuck opens his lips against Raleigh's skin and lazily sucks a mark there before gently licking the bruise.

"What are you doing, _Charlie_?" Raleigh sounds amused more than annoyed, and Chuck feels his smile over the ghost drift. He's tempted to give up on telling Raleigh not to call him 'Charlie', it hasn't shown any effect so far. 

"Enjoying myself." Chuck's reply is barely more than a murmur since he's still busy licking Raleigh's throat. "And marking my territory, I guess." 

Raleigh snorts. "Yeah, I can feel that."

Chuck grins against his skin. "Must be the caveman in me."

"Then I will take that caveman now and drag him into the shower because Doc Lightcap will be here at ten to do those tests with us that she mentioned yesterday."

Chuck just grumbles in displeasure. He is way too comfortable to even contemplate getting up again. He already paid his dues this morning at six am when the nurses came to poke at Raleigh. Chuck dutifully went for a walk with Max before dropping him off with Mako who'd greeted the dog with a thorough cuddle that caused enthusiastic tail-wagging from the bulldog. That mutt loves Mako to pieces. 

Then he'd returned to the warm haven that's Raleigh's bed and cuddled up against him - boy, that guy produces some serious heat. Not that Chuck is complaining, he likes it warm. He smirks. He likes it hot, too.

"I can feel what you're thinking about, Charlie." Raleigh sounds chiding, but Chuck can tell that his heart is not in it. 

Chuck raises his head and grins at Raleigh. "Shower?"

Raleigh jut snorts. He very obviously caught a few of Chuck's thoughts over the ghost drift. "You have a naughty mind, you know that?"

"I don't hear you complaining."

Raleigh returns the grin. "I don't see why I should."

"Good to know." Chuck stretches just enough to capture Raleigh's lips in a lazy kiss, slow and thorough and more an exploration than a seduction. He knows Raleigh is getting better, but he's not up for the real action yet. He just woke from coma three days ago, after all. So for now, Chuck is content to just touch, taste and feel. They'll get to the other stuff once he's sure Raleigh won't pass out on him. Because that would be a serious mood-killer.

Raleigh breaks the kiss just long enough to utter, "Shower. Meeting with the doc, remember?"

"Hmmmm." Chuck doesn't bother stopping what he's doing to answer. Instead he deepens the kiss again and enjoys how Raleigh turns into his touch immediately, as if it's a reflex, an instinct. It kind of is, and Chuck is very familiar with the feeling - he experiences it every single time Raleigh touches him. He was told it's a side effect of the perfect match connection, but he couldn't care less. It's there and it feels awesome, that's all that matters.

They do make it into the shower at some point, but they're running late, and there's barely enough time left for a quick breakfast before Doc Lightcap knocks on the door. She greets them both with a smile and comes to stand next to Raleigh's bed. Chuck is sitting on the edge, his hand casually holding Raleigh's. He doesn't much care what that looks like - she knows about them anyway. And Chuck likes her, she's sincere and intelligent and not afraid to ask uncomfortable questions. It also helps that she agreed yesterday to have them act as her test pilots once they're both back on their feet - Chuck can't wait to get to play with the new Jaegers.

"So, what's on the menu for today, doc?" Raleigh asks with a curious expression on his face. He likes her too, and Chuck gets the feeling that he appreciates the opportunity to do something other than sit in his bed all day. Something to do, something to make him feel useful.

"Dr Geiszler and I have worked on a drift experiment we want to do with you and Ranger Hansen together." She carefully looks him up and down, as if assessing his condition. "Do you feel well enough to come to my lab, Ranger Becket?"

"As long as you don't require me to run or lift weights, we should be good." Raleigh points at his bummed shoulder and smirks.

Doc Lightcap just chuckles. "No, that shouldn't be necessary."

"Then we're good to go, doc." Raleigh gets up slowly, still mindful of his injuries. He's dressed in street clothes for the meeting, he didn't want to face the tasks of the day wearing that flimsy hospital gown that the nurses still insist on. Chuck sneaked in a set of his clothes this morning after his walk with Max, once the watchful eye of said nurses was turned elsewhere. It's almost strange to see Raleigh in his usual cargo trousers and one of his typical battered jumpers. Chuck remembers what that jumper felt like on his skin and how Raleigh reacted to him wearing it and decides to steal it at the first opportunity. Just to make Raleigh's eyes darken like that again.

Raleigh is far steadier on his feet than he was yesterday, but Chuck still stays close all the way to the lab. Raleigh lets him feel through their connection that he appreciates it, same as he reassures Chuck that he's doing fine and that there's no need to worry. Chuck touches his hand to the small of Raleigh's back for a moment, the physical contact making him feel better immediately.

When they reach the lab, Newt is waiting for them with a grin. Dr Gottlieb is bent over a screen in the back of the lab, completely ignoring them. Next to him there's a rather big and improvised looking machine taking up most of the room, complete with screens and blinking lights. Right next to it stand two hospital beds, probably because they were the easiest to bring in considering that they're on wheels. 

"Hey guys!" Newt greets them with the kind of enthusiasm that Chuck has begun to associate with him. Sometimes Chuck can't help wondering if he's just like that or if he's on drugs. "Ready for some fun?"

"Depends if it's fun for you or for us." Chuck replies dryly. 

"Well, _I'll_ definitely have fun." Newt grins. 

"So what's that?" Raleigh remains standing, but he leans ever so slightly against Chuck when he points at the machine behind Newt. Chuck steps closer and makes sure to stand fast so that Raleigh can relax against him. He knows that it would be better for Raleigh to sit down, but it's up to him to decide if he wants the others to know. Chuck will support him no matter what his decision is, even if it means to just stand here and serve as a human lamppost for Raleigh to lean against.

"That?" Newt turns to look at the device as if there was anything else that Raleigh could be talking about. "Oh, that's the newest invention in drift technology. It's basically a device to create a drift, but only between two people - no other function but drifting." 

Chuck can't help it, but it sounds like that actually defeats the entire purpose of a drift, which is to combine neural strength to be able to take the strain of the load created by a Jaeger. "So there's no Jaeger, no simulation, no interface, no machine at all."

"Pretty much." Newton nods enthusiastically, as if he completely doesn't get why Chuck thinks that that idea is strange. "The concept of the drift was always based on the premise that a connection to a non-human entity - in our case, the Jaeger - is too much for one single brain to take. Well, we know that it is, with two memorable exceptions. Now, the simple removal of the Jaeger kind of takes away the base of the drift - it was never meant to just connect two humans without the load of the Jaeger shared between them."

"Each drift works in three ways." Doc Lightcap continues to explain and counts off on her fingers. "One, you have the connection between the pilots, two and three is the connection between each pilot and the machine. Imagine it as a triangle where the connections are balanced out. It's not as simple as to just take away the Jaeger because that destroys the balanced circulation of the drift. It's as if the memories of both partners of the mind meld would loop back on themselves - a bit like the audio feedback of a mic held in front of a speaker - because there's no target for them. Let's just say it wouldn't do much good for the two minds involved in the drift. We suspect that it would create a loop that we can't break from the outside without completely mixing up the memories and maybe even personality traits of both parties."

"Sounds nice." Chuck can't help remarking dryly before he frowns. "And why do simulators work, then? There's no Jaeger, after all."

"Oh yes, there is." Newt is quick to interrupt. "It may not be the actual physical machine, but the interface of the Jaeger is loaded into the system, therefore the drift is a triangle again. Pilot - Jaeger system - pilot. That's why it's strictly forbidden to use a simulator without a co-pilot. It would just as much overload the brain as attempting to pilot a real Jaeger solo. Only the one-person simulators can be used for single-pilot training because they work without an actual drift."

"And you found a way to eliminate all those problems, I guess." Raleigh pointedly glances at the machine.

"Kind of." Newt agrees and gently pets what looks like a bellows.

"Now that's encouraging." Chuck mumbles and hides a smirk when Raleigh elbows him for the comment. Newt continues without even noticing, he's so caught up in his enthusiasm. 

"One of the reasons why this device works is because it's based on the perfect match connection. Fact is that there's already a link in place between perfect matches, and once their first drift initiated the connection, we have something to work with. A perfect match doesn't need the third partner in the drift triangle to balance the drift - which is proven by the fact that both pilots become one entity during the drift with their Jaeger, which technically makes it just two partners in the drift, not three. We've gone through all readouts we have from drift sequences of perfect matches, and the pattern is always the same. They don't require the drift triangle, and that's what we're working with here." Newton explains and motions at the massive machine standing behind him. Chuck is sure he can see duct tape at more than one connection, and he tries not to worry about that. He has utter confidence in the power of duct tape, but not when it's holding together a machine that's messing with his mind. "I wouldn't recommend using this device for a drift of pilots who aren't a perfect match, though, it would probably carry some serious risks like the ones we mentioned. You know, mind mash up and all that." 

"What do you need us for?" Raleigh asks curiously. Maybe a bit warily, Chuck can see that he's eyeing the duct tape, too.

"Well, you can figure that we're not going to try this on the Marshal without doing a bit of test driving first." Newt shrugs, as if that fact should be obvious.

"So we're your guinea pigs." Raleigh seems more amused by the idea than worried. "And let me guess, you need a perfect match to test it, and we're the only one in a remotely good condition."

"That's not all." Dr Lightcap joins in. "We have a special situation with Pentecost having piloted solo - just like you. He's part of a perfect match - just like you. We want to sedate you and then have Ranger Hansen here drift with you. We need the conditions to be as similar as possible to create a comparable situation." 

"Without actually putting you in a coma." Newton says quickly, he must have seen Raleigh's raised eyebrow and Chuck's rapidly darkening gaze. 

"Are you insane? You're not going to put him under after he just woke from an _actual_ coma three days ago!" Chuck grits his teeth to keep from shouting. He can't believe they'd even suggest something like that.

"It's just a very mild sedative, Ranger Hansen." Doc Lightcap is quick to reassure him. "It's neither dangerous nor strong enough to last for more than two hours."

"I don't care! You're not risking his health for an experiment!" Chuck is aware that his voice has risen, but he's in no condition to care. He's so angry that he feels his entire body quiver with suppressed tension. It's the sudden touch of a warm hand around his wrist that keeps him from actually exploding into the doc's face.

"Chuck." Raleigh's voice is quiet, but there's a serious note to it that immediately catches his attention. Chuck looks at him and in his mind there are images, situations of Pentecost taking great influence on Raleigh's life. Bringing him back to the Jaeger programme, meeting Mako, making him Chuck's co-pilot. "I owe him."

"This is not dangerous for him, Ranger Hansen." Doc Lightcap catches Chuck's gaze and holds it. She's sincere, and Chuck trusts her not to screw him or Raleigh over. But there's still that knot in his stomach, the painful reminder of what it was like to watch Raleigh's unmoving face, completely helpless, unable to do anything other than wait for him to wake up. Never knowing if he actually would. 

Doc Lightcap touches his arm and pulls him out of the memory. "You'll be right there with him. It's still a drift."

Chuck takes a deep breath to calm himself. It takes two or three, but then he's at a point where he can speak without the risk of shouting. Raleigh's hand is still wrapped around his wrist, helping him to focus. "Have you ever actually tested that thing on anybody or are we the canon fodder?"

"Oh no, we have tested it." Newton chimes in and Chuck sees him grin. There's definitely an ambiguous edge to it. "It works quite... _fantastically_."

Chuck hears a sputter from the other side of the lab and realises that it comes from Dr. Gottlieb, who seems to be very interested in something on the computer and does his best to keep his back turned towards them. Chuck is sure he doesn't ever want to know what that's about.

"Really, Ranger Hansen, we wouldn't propose this to the two of you if we thought it dangerous." Doc Lightcap looks earnest, and Chuck fights the urge to snort.

"Mind mash-up?" Chuck remarks instead and raises an eyebrow. Sounds a little dangerous to him.

"Oh, there's no risk of that for a perfect match." Newt replies, and there's so much certainty in his words that Chuck believes him despite himself. "Technically, the minds of perfect matches are already mixed up. It's why they become on entity during a drift and why their ghost drift never fades, no matter time and distance."

Chuck wants to reply something, but he's massively distracted by the images and sensations Raleigh is sending him over their ghost drift. There's naked skin, heat and passion, there's Raleigh's taste and the feeling of being buried inside him. Chuck almost gasps under the sudden onslaught, and it takes all of his deeply ingrained discipline to keep from making any noises. He can't help closing his eyes for a second or two, though, before he regains enough control over his body's instinctive reactions to glare at Raleigh.

"Not a bad thing, that mind mash-up, now, is it?" Raleigh asks very quietly, and there's a smug smirk on his face. 

"All right, all right." Chuck grumbles. He's still reeling from all the sensations he just experienced, and he's well aware that Raleigh did this on purpose. Still, he knows Raleigh wants to do this, to help Pentecost because he feels like it's something he has to do. And he can only do it _with_ Chuck, he can't do it alone. 

"Let's do this." Chuck doesn't bother hiding the fact that he's still not happy with what they're going to do. Just because he agrees to help, doesn't mean that he has to like it.

"All right, gentlemen." Doc Lightcap gives both of them a reassuring smile and gestures at the two hospital beds. "Just lie down. We're going to keep track of your brain activity with little sensors, nothing you'll even notice."

Chuck sits on one of the beds and watches the doc attach two little sensors to Raleigh's temples, then she comes over and does the same to him. She returns to Raleigh with a syringe that she loads with a clear fluid. Chuck feels his stomach churn again.

"Just lie back and relax." Doc Lightcap says and waits for Raleigh to get comfortable on the bed. "We're going to give you the sedative first, you need to be asleep before we can start the test."

"All right, go put me under, doc." Raleigh shifts a bit back and forth, then he holds out his arm. Chuck can't help the queasy feeling in his stomach getting worse. He still doesn't like this at all. "I expect nice dreams, I hope you arranged for those."

She smirks, injecting the sedative with professional and sure movements. "I put out the order for them."

"Great. I can't wait to see what kind of good dreams you ordered for me, Doc." Raleigh's speech is somewhat slow, and his eyes begin to flutter close again and again. He looks at Chuck and smiles, his features soft with the calming effect of the sedative, his eyes warm. "See you in the drift, Charlie."

Then his eyelids close and his breathing evens out into the soft, regular rhythm of sleep. Chuck watches him carefully and has to fight the urge to reach out and close his hand around Raleigh's wrist, to feel his pulse and make sure he's okay.

"You can touch him, Ranger Hansen." Doc Lightcap says quietly next to him. "I'm sure he'd appreciate the contact. Most perfect matches have a much higher need for physical contact than the average couple."

Chuck turns to look at her, not quite sure what he's expecting and a sharp defence already on the tip of his tongue, but it dies the moment he sees the sincere and almost gentle understanding in her eyes. She's not mocking him, she's not lecturing him, she's just letting him know that she understands. Chuck swallows the knee-jerk reaction to defend himself and just nods before he reaches out and does wrap his hand around Raleigh's wrist. There it is, his pulse, steady and strong, and Chuck feels himself calm down immediately.

"Now let's get to the interesting part." Newt comes over, carrying two... well, Chuck is not sure what they are, but they look like metal octopuses with red stripes. He's not sure either what he's supposed to do with those things, but luckily Newt isn't done with his explanation yet.

"These are the new squid caps, I call them 'squiddys' " - Chuck can't help snorting at that - "one of which goes on your and one on Becket's head. We'll activate them remotely, and once they're running, we can establish the neural handshake just like LOCCENT usually does." 

"We're not going to terminate the drift before you tell us to, Ranger Hansen." Doc Lightcap goes on. "Since we don't know exactly what is going to happen during a drift with an unconscious partner, we won't take the risk of causing any damage. You'll decide, since you're the one who's linked with Ranger Becket. All right?"

Chuck nods. He's actually relieved to hear that, it gives him the feeling that he can somehow keep Raleigh safe. He knows it's not necessarily true, but he decides to ignore that for now.

"Then lie back and relax." Newt says and Chuck gets comfortable on the bed. Then he waits for Newt to finish whatever he's doing to put that squid thing on him and watches him adjust the second one on Raleigh's head. He presses some button and then the red stripes begin glowing and a low buzz comes from the device. Newt presses the same button on Chuck's squid cap and there's a soft, not exactly unpleasant feeling surrounding his head. A bit like being touched by a feather that's passed over his skin and hair. Weird, but neither bad nor alarming.

"Okay, we're ready." Doc Lightcap announces after typing something in one of the machine's terminals.

"Ready to engage neural handshake?" Newt sounds excited, something Chuck isn't used to hear when asked that specific question. The LOCCENT communication rarely gets emotional.

"Ready." Chuck's reply is more instinct than conscious thought. He's been in this - well, sort of this - situation so many times. He almost feels as if he's in a Conn-Pod - if it weren't for the comfy bed and the lack of the drive suit and the decidedly different view.

"Initiating neural handshake in five - four - three - two..."

Chuck listens only halfway to Newt's voice, he's following his usual pre-drift ritual - clearing his mind, synchronising his breathing with his drift partner, closing his eyes and opening his mind. 

"One."

There's the flash that he's used to, not light but emotions, memories, thoughts. It's softer somehow, as if it's not as intense as it usually is. It's the first time Chuck ever drifted while his partner is asleep, and he wonders if it's the lack of consciousness that makes everything feel so muffled. It only lasts the fraction of a second, then the surroundings clear, and he's somewhat surprised that he's obviously not in the lab - it seems that he entered Raleigh's dream instead of staying in reality. Chuck wonders if maybe the sleeping drift partner is the more dominant part in the drift, since he can't wake up as long as the body is caught in unconsciousness. It's definitely going to be an interesting experience. 

Chuck looks around, sees PPDC personnel milling around in a massive Jaeger bay among the huge shapes of three Jaegers. Chrome Brutus, Brawler Yukon and Gipsy Danger, Chuck thinks immediately. He spent enough time studying Jaegers to recognise them without having to make an effort. But Gipsy looks different, and it takes him only a second to realise that this is her original appearance, _before_ Mako revamped her.

Oh.

Chuck hasn't spent much time in the Icebox - he was on Kodiak Island much longer than in the Anchorage Shatterdome - but he recognises it immediately. After taking a moment to orientate himself, he finds out where Raleigh's quarters are and makes his way over there. He can't help wondering that his security clearance works in a Shatterdome where he was never stationed, not to mention that people treat him like they know him. Chuck shakes off the weird feeling and keeps heading for Raleigh's quarters. He's sure that whatever is going on in this drift-dream, finding Raleigh is a good idea. It's his dream, after all. 

When he arrives at the door that has the number of Raleigh's quarters painted next to it along with Gipsy's logo, he knocks and waits rather impatiently for a response. It doesn't take long and the heavy metal is pulled open and a man with blond hair is eyeing him. He's wearing a PPDC uniform, but he's definitely _not_ Raleigh.

"There you are." The guy greets him as if he's been waiting for Chuck for ages. Chuck can't help staring at the familiar face of Yancy Becket - he looks just as Chuck remembers him from the magazines and posters of his youth. Just maybe a bit more impressive, because he's broader than Chuck imagined when he was a kid.

"Wow, this is weird." Chuck mutters under his breath. He's still staring, and he knows it. But hey, seeing _Yancy Becket_ , Raleigh's big brother and one of the heroes of his childhood, standing right in front of him is a good reason to stare. Especially if said hero has been dead for five years.

"So you're Raleigh's guy." Only now does Chuck realise that Yancy is staring at him in return, but not in stunned awe. It feels more like scrutiny. From a dead guy in a drift-dream. He can't help wondering what that says about his subconsciousness. Well, at least it's Raleigh dream and not his.

"Where is he, anyway?" It's the first thing Chuck can think to ask, although it's not the most intelligent question given the circumstances.

"When I felt you enter the drift, I sent him out for a run. I wanted to catch you alone." Yancy steps aside and opens the door fully. "So, why don't you come in?"

Chuck feels a shiver run down his spine and frowns. What Yancy just said is totally wrong for a dreamed-up person. "When you felt me enter... _What?_ " 

"To answer your unspoken question: No, I'm not a figment of your or Raleigh's imagination." Yancy smirks at Chuck, he's quite obviously enjoying tormenting him. 

"Nice to know I'm not _that_ crazy." Chuck mumbles, more to himself than the older Becket brother. 

Yancy just chuckles. "I guess you're familiar with the concept of drifting. Once you drifted with somebody, a part of them will always live on inside your mind, in your shared memories. Rals and I were connected until my death, we never properly disengaged. Which is why I can stand here with you now and talk. Still, it would be much more comfortable inside our quarters than standing out here in the hallway."

Chuck can't help it, he's _still_ staring. He's aware he's standing on the doorstep and that he's being rather impolite, but he can't find it in him to care. "You _know_ this is a drift."

Yancy rolls his eyes, as if he thinks this is a spectacularly retarded question to ask after what he just explained. "Of course. I know everything Raleigh knows."

Chuck can't hold back a low whistle. "Man, this is so weird. You're _dead_."

Yancy just raises an eyebrow. "You don't mince your words, do you?"

Chuck feels a burn on his cheeks, but he's not going to apologise for stating a fact. Instead he raises his chin almost like a challenge. "Well, it's true, after all."

"Technically it is, yes." Yancy steps aside and makes a gesture that seems more like an order than an invitation. "Now get your ass in here, kid, so we can close the door."

For a moment Chuck wants to stay where he is just out of spite for that order, but he can see that it'll be better to continue this encounter behind closed doors. On top of that, he doesn't want to give Yancy the satisfaction to call him childish, because that's what it would be.

Chuck enters the quarters and looks around. His gaze falls on the pictures taped to almost every vertical surface - people, places, buildings, landscapes, objects, in colour as well as black and white. There's Yancy and Raleigh at various ages, there's a young girl, there's a middle aged couple that have to be their parents. "Raleigh's never mentioned you hanging around."

"Because he doesn't know." The distinctive sound of the heavy metal door closing is the same all over the world, Chuck can't help thinking. He doesn't turn around to Yancy, instead he keeps inspecting the pictures. There are so many of them. "I can't manifest when he's awake. The rest of the time, he thinks it's just vivid dreams." 

Chuck stops staring at a picture of teenage Raleigh hanging upside down from a tree branch and turns around at last to face Yancy. "So you're here talking to me like you're still alive because Raleigh was out like light when we engaged in the drift?"

"Pretty much." Yancy is leaning casually against the door. He's quite obviously been observing Chuck wandering through the room. It makes Chuck's skin prickle unpleasantly. He doesn't like feeling like an insect under the microscope. "I spent some time with Rals when he was in coma, but he doesn't remember. Which is probably good, it took him long enough to find his way back to life."

Chuck raises an eyebrow, and maybe it's a bit in order to challenge Yancy. "You're aware he's going to know now. Even if I didn't tell him, he'll see my memories of this the next time we drift."

Yancy just shrugs. "I advise you to tell him before he sees it in the drift. He'll take it badly if you don't."

That answer makes Yancy rise a few notches in Chuck's esteem. He obviously knows Raleigh very well, and he's all for doing what's best for him. Because Chuck agrees, Raleigh would take it very, very badly if Chuck kept this from him. Everything concerning Yancy is a huge sore spot for him, and something as major as Chuck talking to his dead-but-alive brother definitely ranges among the things he'd want to know about. "So what, you're dead but you're not?"

Yancy shrugs. "Something like that." 

"What, you're undead?" Chuck asks with a grin, he just can't help himself. "You're not a zombie, are you?"

Yancy rolls his eyes, but he's smirking. "Let's say there's a consciousness without a body."

"So your _body_ is dead, but your mind is stored somewhere in Raleigh's brain without you being able to communicate with him or anybody else. Oh, and without him knowing about it." Chuck summarises. "What does that make Raleigh, then? Schizophrenic?"

The look Yancy gives him makes it clear how stupid he thinks this question to be. "No, he's not schizophrenic. I'm still me and he's still him just like before Knifehead, and we're most certainly not a split personality. Come on, just because you drifted with your dad and he was in your head, doesn't make him part of _your_ personality." 

Chuck shudders. "Yeah, that'd be seriously weird."

Yancy sighs pointedly. "Really, if I didn't know how you are when you're with Raleigh, I'd be seriously pressed to wonder what he sees in you." 

Chuck gets an uneasy feeling. "Wait, 'if you didn't know how I'm with Raleigh?' What the heck does that mean?"

"I told you, I see what he sees, I know what he knows. I just can't communicate." Yancy gives him a pointed gaze.

Chuck swallows hard. Oh oh. "Do you mean you're there _all the time_?"

"If you're talking about the decontamination showers..." Yancy looks entirely too innocent. The prick is enjoying this, Chuck realises. It only makes his cheeks burn even hotter.

"Stop, don't say it. That's answer enough." Chuck kind of wants the ground to open up and swallow him. There are very few things that embarrass him to that point, but knowing that his partner's dead brother was _watching them_ when they had sex in the showers does the trick. Chuck groans as if in physical pain and hides his face in his hands.

"Don't worry, I zoned out when I realised where it was going." Chuck hears Yancy say, and he still sounds amused, but also a tad nicer than before.

Chuck peeks out between his fingers but doesn't lift his head. "Zoned out?"

"Yeah, well, I can decide not to follow Raleigh's adventures." Yancy shrugs. "It seemed like a good time to actually make myself sparse."

"Yeah, it definitely was." It takes Chuck a few moments before he's able to lift his head and look at Yancy. Chuck clears his throat, he knows his cheeks are still bright red. "Thanks, mate. I guess."

"Let's be honest, I didn't do it for you, but for my baby brother." Yancy replies with almost brutal honesty, but he makes a point to smile to take the sting out of the words. "If I were in his position I wouldn't want my brother watching me have sex, either."

"Yeah, it's kind of awkward." Chuck falls silent, he really has no idea how to continue that conversation. He'd rather like to change the topic, actually. He's not comfortable discussing his and Raleigh's sex life with Yancy. It's none of his business, never mind that he's stuck in Raleigh's brain.

Appropriately enough it's Raleigh who unknowingly saves him. Because after only a few seconds of awkward silence the metal door is shoved open and Raleigh bounces in wearing shorts and a t-shirt, his face red and sweaty. He's grinning from ear to ear, obviously still high from running. He's younger than Chuck remembers ever meeting him, somehow cockier and wilder and more careless and yet endearingly innocent. He's the Raleigh from the posters in Chuck's childhood room, and he's absolutely gorgeous.

"Hey Charlie!" If possible, Raleigh's face lights up even more when he sees Chuck. He doesn't seem to notice Chuck's surprise, he just steps up to him to press a quick peck on his lips. For a moment Chuck is too distracted to give it any thought - Rals just smells too good - but then he's next to his bunk, stepping out of his running shoes and stripping off his t-shirt. The distance clears Chuck's mind enough for him to notice a few things, although he can't quite take his eyes off Raleigh's very nice bare torso. There are no circuitry burns anywhere on his skin.

Okay, so the timeline is definitely screwed up in this drift-dream. Because although Chuck doesn't know exactly what year it is, he knows that it's before Knifehead, and at that time Raleigh didn't even know Chuck. Not to mention that Chuck would have been a teenager and definitely not old enough to be in a relationship with Raleigh that's obviously not entirely new, considering how he treats Chuck. One quick look in the mirror over the sink convinces Chuck that he still looks like his normal 21-year-old self and not an awkward teenager. 

"I'll take a shower. Want to head for breakfast together afterwards?" Raleigh asks over his shoulder right before he disappears into the en-suite bathroom.

"Sure." It's all Chuck manages to say, he's still stunned. The door to the bathroom closes before he has recovered. This clearly isn't _his_ Raleigh, and yet it somehow is. It's only now that Chuck realises how much Knifehead changed him, how big the impact was, not only on his life but also on his personality.

"He's so different now." Chuck mumbles, staring at the Gipsy Danger logo on the door.

"That's what he was like when I was still alive." Yancy is also staring at the bathroom door. "Sometimes I can't help wondering what would have become of him if Knifehead had never happened. Or if we had defeated him before shit hit the fan."

Chuck doesn't have an answer. He's wondering that too, and his mind is spinning. 

"I'm not sure it would have been good." Yancy adds after a moment of heavy silence. The only sound is the dulled noise of the shower running. "Raleigh was cocky, overconfident, even arrogant. Heck, we all were. We thought we were indestructible. Being a famous Jaeger pilot, adored and glorified, one victory after another. Of course we were overconfident."

For a moment Yancy is quiet. "It couldn't last. Maybe Raleigh needed the shock to become who he is today. I have to admit that I like that more mature version of him better."

"I love that version." The words are out before Chuck even thinks them. He freezes on the spot when he realises what he just said, and when he slowly turns to Yancy, there's a big grin on the older Becket's face. It looks vaguely smug.

"Your brain-mouth filter doesn't work very well, you're aware of that, right?" Yancy points out, still grinning, and Chuck just rolls his eyes. He's not going to take back his words, not matter that he hadn't intended to actually say them. 

"You should tell him too, you know. Not in a drift, but with actual words." Yancy comes over to where Chuck is standing and catches his gaze. "Words are still very powerful, even if you share a mind. Some things you just want to hear out loud, for real."

"You're a big romantic, I see." Chuck gives the words a teasing note and smirks at Yancy. He's not willing to say anything else on the matter, he's certainly not going to talk with Yancy about... well, this. Feeling. Relationships. All that stuff. It's between him and Raleigh, and it's nobody else's business, even if Yancy is a somewhat unintentional witness to the whole thing.

"I have my moments." Yancy replies, but thankfully doesn't say anything else. Chuck feels a bit restless, he doesn't like the way Yancy is kind of grilling him without actually making it obvious. He doesn't like how this whole really strange situation made him admit things he hadn't even dared to think in the quiet of his own mind, and he's not ready to deal with all of that right now. A bit of distance to the source of that discomfort - a certain older Becket brother, that is - may be good, so Chuck walks the few steps to Raleigh's bunk and sits down. Yancy's gaze traces his movements, and it makes Chuck uneasy. Time to move the focus away from him and Raleigh's relationship.

"So, Rals." Chuck points at the bathroom door where the shower has stopped running. "He doesn't know this is a drift, does he?"

"No, he doesn't. For him, this is a dream. He's sleeping, he's not in control of what is happening in the drift." Yancy's mouth presses into a tight line for a moment. "It's pretty much the same thing as back when he was in coma. I could actually talk to him, but once he woke, it all was nothing but a dream that quickly faded from his memory."

"So you leave it to me to break it to him that you're still kind of alive, oh, and hey, Raleigh, you can't communicate with Yancy because he only comes out when you're unconscious. How unfortunate." Chuck can't help the sarcastic tone in his voice. He's so not looking forward to that conversation with Raleigh. "Thank you very much, mate. He'll feel like shit, you know that."

"You have no idea." Yancy's voice is so resigned that Chuck's head jerks around to look at him. He only gets a peek of his face, too fast to read his expression, and then Chuck's mind is flooded with images and emotions all of the sudden. He's in the med bay of the Icebox, bound to the bed. He can barely move, there's so much pain. Physical pain from the injuries Raleigh sustained during the fight with Knifehead, and emotional pain, no, _agony_ over the loss of Yancy. On the outside he's all quiet, as if he has lost the connection to the world, as if he shut down all but physically. He tries not to feel anymore. Everything is bleak, the world has lost its colours, the food has no taste, there's no warmth no matter how much they heat the room. The smiles of the nurses and doctors don't touch him, nothing does. Everything is swallowed by the utter nothingness that's the silence in his mind, the absence of Yancy.

It drives him crazy, he wants to scream until his lungs are raw, but he finds that there's no sound left in him. He feels so lost, so helpless, so guilty. He needs to get it out, all these feelings are choking him, but he can't move, can't open his mouth. He's a prisoner in his own body, in the silence of his mind. He only wants for it to end. 

No matter which way.

It leaves Chuck breathless, as if somebody punched him in the stomach really hard. He knows it's not his memory and not Yancy's, it's Raleigh's, and Yancy is sharing it with him, because this still is a drift, after all, and it's clear that it's Yancy who's in control of it. Chuck is glad that he's already sitting, he's sure he would have tumbled otherwise.

"I was there. All the time I was there and yet I couldn't let him know." Yancy's voice is carefully blank, but Chuck still hears the helplessness and the frustration underneath the calm veneer. He's too good at wearing that specific mask himself to not see through it when somebody else does. "He didn't hear me. I saw him lose his will to live and I couldn't do a thing. When he left the PPDC, there was almost nothing left of my cocky baby brother."

Yancy stops and his lips press into a thin line. "In those five years until the Marshal came to get him, Raleigh existed, but he didn't really live. He was nothing but a shell, there was no life in him. It only changed when he came to Hong Kong, when he met Mako and got back in the fight. When he met _you_." 

Yancy turns to him, his gaze hard in a way that makes Chuck's skin crawl. "So if you ever hurt him, if you ever make him reach his breaking point, you better believe me that I will find a way to destroy you."

Chuck feels an icy shiver run down his spine. He knows Yancy means it and that he will follow through with it, no matter how adverse conditions may be. Chuck can't help wondering briefly if getting punched in a drift-dream is going to leave him with bruises in reality. He's not keen on finding out, especially because he thinks he'd deserve it if he really ever hurt Raleigh that badly. He's not sure that he'd actually fight back against Yancy in that case.

Wow, imagine that. He's ready to allow the dead brother to beat him up if he deserves it. He's in deep, that's for sure. 

"Okay." Chuck nods after a moment, holding Yancy's gaze to let him know that he gets it. That he agrees, actually. He's not willing to say it aloud, but he knows that Yancy understands when the older Becket brother returns the nod.

"Good." Yancy holds his gaze for a moment longer, then the tension is broken when he suddenly smirks. "Now get back to your reality and tell those curious scientists all they want to know. They'll have a field day with this new information."

Before Chuck can protest, there's the flash again and just like that he's back in the Hong Kong Shatterdome. He instinctively takes a deep breath, and the familiar scent of the machinery helps him to find his way out of the drift and back into reality. Okay, so it's sure now that Yancy was the one who controlled the drift-dream. At least to a certain degree.

"Ranger Hansen? Are you okay?" The sound of her voice makes Chuck turn his head towards Doc Lightcap who's sitting on a swivel chair next to the bed, looking at him with a small frown on her face.

Chuck nods, it takes him a moment to find his voice. "Yeah. I'm good."

Doc Lightcap watches him attentively. She knows something is up. "Are you ready to disengage the drift?"

Chuck nods again. He's still stunned, and he can feel goosebumps on his skin when he thinks about what just happened. There's the familiar rush he always feels when a drift is disengaged, and a few seconds later the temporary emptiness in his mind is filled with the steady ghost drift. He feels Raleigh much fainter than during the active neural handshake, but he's still there. It's enough to calm him.

"You're a bit pale, man." Newton comes to stand next to him and looks him up and down while taking the squid cap off Chuck. "Sure you're okay?"

"It's not me." Chuck glances at Raleigh. He's fast asleep, his face relaxed and peaceful, never mind the sensors on his temples. He's not even bothered by Doc Lightcap removing his squid cap. "How is he?"

"He's sleeping and according to the scans he's very relaxed. It's been like that the entire time. No ups or downs." Newt replies and motions at one of the screens on the desk next to him. "He will wake up in about an hour. You've only been gone for about forty minutes."

" _Your_ readings on the other hand, Ranger Hansen, were a bit more interesting." Doc Lightcap says while pointing to a second screen. Even Chuck can see the massive changes in the readouts throughout the drift. That would be Yancy, then. 

"Call me Chuck, okay? You make me feel like I'm my dad." Chuck smirks and then points at the screen. "Let me guess, the first one of those spikes came pretty soon after I went in."

"Yes. Would you mind telling us what caused it, Chuck? Do you have any idea?" Doc Lightcap has a tablet ready to take notes, and she looks very interested. Almost curious. It makes her look even more approachable and likeable.

"Oh, I have a pretty precise idea _who_ caused those spikes." Chuck retorts with a snort.

" _'Who'_?" Newton frowns. "But Raleigh was quiet the entire time."

"Well, it wasn't him."

Now Newt just looks confused. "You've lost me here, man."

Chuck allows the silence to stretch for a moment, because what he's going to drop on them now deserves a bit of pomp. "It was Yancy."

" _What?!_ " Newton's voice rises about an octave in surprise. Even Dr Gottlieb, who's still on the other side of the lab, looks up.

"What do you mean, Chuck? How can it be Yancy? He's-" Doc Lightcap is more controlled, but definitely not less surprised or confused. Chuck interrupts her before she can finish her sentence.

"- dead, yeah, I know. That's among the first things I said to him, actually." Chuck grins, because in hindsight it's as much funny as it's outright rude. Well, he was never known for his sense of tact. If Yancy has really been there all the time watching them, he should have expected as much. 

"Oooookayyy." Newt draws out the word in surprised scepticism. One look at his face tells Chuck that he's not believing a word of it, while Doc Lightcap has an concentrated expression on hers. She's obviously already going over everything she knows about the drift, trying to guess if what Chuck is telling them is actually possible.

"Can you explain that a bit more, Chuck?" she asks and looks at him intently. She's sceptic as well, but more than that she's curious.

"I can tell you what he told me, if that helps." Chuck offers with a shrug. He doesn't care if they believe him or not because he _knows_ that Yancy was real. He controlled the drift, that's what convinced Chuck - even if he'd had any doubts left after that drift. But Yancy was pretty convincing on his own, he has to admit.

"I'm sure it'll help." Doc Lightcap types something on her tablet. "Do you mind me recording this? I want to be sure I get all the details right. This could be ground-breaking new information. It's too important to get lost in translation."

"Sure, go ahead." Chuck waits for her to set up the recording, then he repeats what Yancy told him. He also adds his own observations, like the fact that Yancy seemed to control the drift and that Raleigh wasn't aware he was in a drift-dream while Yancy was. Doc Lightcap listens attentively and only interrupts when she has a question about a detail here or there. Newton remains surprisingly quiet throughout the interview, as if he's still making up his mind about whether he believes what Chuck is saying or not. Dr Gottlieb is standing somewhere behind him and also listens with great interest.

"Well, this is intriguing." There's an expression on Doc Lightcap's face that Chuck has seen on the engineers of Striker's J-Tech crew a million times. It means that they're playing out scenarios in their mind, fitting the pieces together and considering each possible angle, and even some impossible ones. 

"I'll leave it to you to make sense of it all." Chuck says once he's done and there are no further questions. A quick look on the clock on the wall tells him that Raleigh will wake up within the next twenty minutes, and he wants to be there when he does.

"This is an entirely unresearched aspect of the neural handshake." Doc Lightcap mumbles after a few moments of silence, more to herself than anyone in particular. "Unexpected, but not improbable." 

"I have an idea!" Newton bounces off his chair and makes his way past Dr Gottlieb to one of the screens of his machine. He's muttering under his breath while typing, but Chuck can't make out a word and doesn't actually care much. 

He glances at the bed next to the machine where Raleigh is still sleeping peacefully. "Is Raleigh supposed to stay here until the sedative wears off?"

"Oh no. There's a quiet room next to the lab where he can sleep as long as he needs. It'll be much more comfortable than here in the lab." She glances at Newt who's now animatedly talking to Dr Gottlieb, his voice agitated. "It's going to become loud in here pretty quickly."

Chuck snorts. "I bet."

"We want to go over the data, and we need to implement the new information you gave us." Doc Lightcap smiles almost sheepishly. "You've given us something very interesting to work with, Chuck. We're all a bit excited."

Chuck smirks. "Don't let me hold you back. I'll stay with Raleigh until he wakes."

"I expected that." Doc Lightcap gives him a little smile that's almost teasing. Chuck is surprised that it doesn't bother him. Maybe it's because he likes her. "You can help me get the bed next door, then we'll leave the two of you alone. If you want to, you can come by once Ranger Becket feels better. Maybe we'll already have something to tell you."

"I want to tell him first. You know, about Yancy." Chuck gestures at Raleigh. "I'm not sure how he's going to take it. He might not want to talk to anybody afterwards."

"Don't worry, Chuck. Just come by whenever the time is right. We'll be here." There's something so sincere about her that Chuck believes her immediately. He gives her a quick smile, then he helps her roll the bed out of the lab and into the next room. It's a typical Shatterdome room, with an skylight and bare concrete walls, but there's also a comfortable looking couch and a table with a few chairs. It obviously serves as a break room as well as a meeting room, and Doc Lightcap is right, it's quiet contrary to the lab. They push the bed next to the chairs, Raleigh's still out like a light and doesn't move once during the whole procedure. 

Doc Lightcap makes to leave, but she stops at the door. "Thank you very much for agreeing to our experiment, Chuck. You two have helped a lot."

"You're welcome, Doc." Once he has said the words, Chuck finds that he means them. He's still not quite comfortable with what they did to Raleigh in order to make this experiment work, but he can't deny that it yielded some interesting results. Although he doesn't look forward to telling Raleigh about those.

When Doc Lightcap has left and closed the door behind her, Chuck stands in the room for a moment, lost as for what to do. His gaze falls on Raleigh's sleeping form, and he reaches out to take his hand as if it's a reflex. It kind of is. He doesn't like going for long periods of time without physical contact to Raleigh. Pathetic, really. 

Not that he cares as long as he can touch Raleigh.

Chuck sits down on the table and puts his feet on one of the chairs. It's a comfortable height to hold Raleigh's hand without having to stretch. He's worried about telling Raleigh about Yancy because he has an inkling that Raleigh won't take it too well. He's not sure how he himself would take it if, for example, Raleigh told him that Chuck's mom was still alive, just somehow stuck in his mind and not able to communicate with him, while she could talk to Raleigh. So yeah, he wouldn't take that too well, either. He'd probably be pissed and feel betrayed beyond belief.

Chuck sighs heavily and rests his chin on his and Raleigh's entwined hands. How the heck is he supposed to do this? It's not like he's particularly good at dealing with feelings - neither others nor his own. His screwed-up relationships with his Dad and Mako are the best evidence of that. He really doesn't want to get to that point with Raleigh.

Right now, Chuck really wants to kick Yancy in the arse for leaving him with this thankless task. Couldn't the jerk have dealt with this himself instead of dumping it on Chuck? The guy had five years, one would think that's enough time to find a way to communicate with his brother, considering that he's stuck in his brain. This whole thing with Yancy being alive - well, kind of alive - doesn't even have anything to do with Chuck, but he'll still be the one suffering the consequences. Kill the messenger for the bad news and all that.

Prick. 

Chuck looks at Raleigh when he feels him slowly waking up. The ghost drift fills with impressions and sluggish thoughts, and Chuck watches Raleigh's eyes flicker beneath his closed eyelids. The dread in Chuck stomach grows to an uncomfortable lump. The time for the truth is approaching fast. It only takes a few minutes, then Raleigh's eyes blink open once, twice, before focussing on Chuck.

"Morning, Charlie." Raleigh says with a teasing smirk, and although his eyes aren't entirely awake yet, they're warm with affection. It reminds Chuck of the Raleigh of the drift, the young and wild one whose face lit up when he saw Chuck . "Did we do it? Did we drift? Because I don't remember a thing, it was just like sleeping."

"Yep, we did." Chuck replies shortly, amazed that his voice doesn't give away his unease.

"Did anything interesting happen?" Raleigh rubs his eyes and halfway suppresses a yawn.

Chuck snorts. "You could say that."

Raleigh stretches luxuriously, looking a lot like a cat, then he sits up in the hospital bed. "Tell me after we had some coffee, okay? Because I'm still dead tired and if I don't get some coffee, I might fall asleep on you before you can actually say anything."

"Sure. Let's get some coffee." Chuck smiles, but it's nervous. He'd rather get it done right away instead of having to wait another half hour. He's also not going to have this conversation in the busy mess hall where the coffee machines are situated, so he decides to arrange it so that they'll go to Raleigh's room in the med bay afterwards. Still, he wants Raleigh awake and at full alert when dropping something as major as the news that his dead brother is actually still somewhat alive, so coffee it is.

Raleigh is reasonably stable when he gets off the bed and on his own two feet, but again Chuck sticks close to him all the way to the mess hall. Once they get there, Chuck gets them a thermos jug with coffee and grabs two mugs along with some milk and sugar off the counter before he resolutely orders Raleigh back to the med bay. He's glad he can use Raleigh's still not healed condition as a reason to not stay in the mess hall, because he really really _really_ doesn't want to risk Raleigh asking about the events of the drift while they're in public. It's bad enough as it is, no need to add that many witnesses. 

When they get back to Raleigh's room, Chuck sets his spoils down and gets busy making them each a cup of coffee. It's a way to avoid speaking about the dreaded subject. Chuck feels Raleigh watching him, and he can tell that he's getting suspicious. The silence lasts longer than Chuck expected, but finally Raleigh breaks it.

"Something either very good or very bad must have happened during our drift."

Chuck swallows against the lump in his throat and tries to play it cool. He turns around slowly, handing Raleigh one of the mugs. "What makes you say that?"

"You're nervous, Chuck, and you don't get nervous easily." Raleigh remarks quietly after taking a sip of his coffee, and gives Chuck a concerned look. When Chuck opens his mouth to protest, Raleigh's hand comes up to stop him before he's even said a word. "Don't deny it, you know I can feel it."

Well, yes, he knows. That's part of the problem, actually, because right now Chuck would give anything for the prospect of having a day or two to think this through before he has to tell Raleigh about Yancy. To come up with a strategy of how to break it to him with the least amount of pain and damage. Fact is, though, he doesn't have that time and he won't be given any more. But Chuck still doesn't know where to start. How to start. It's not exactly an everyday conversation. 

"I've met Yancy." Chuck blurts out because he doesn't know what else to say. Just out with it, get over with it, pull the band-aid off quickly. Hopefully it'll work and Raleigh won't kick him out. Or retreat into that terrible state of apathy that took hold of him after Yancy's death. The memory of experiencing it during the drift-dream still makes Chuck's skin crawl.

Raleigh freezes on the spot, the mug stills midair. There's a stiffness to his whole posture that Chuck has never seen in him before. But what's even scarier is the feeling of the walls in his mind coming up, effectively cutting off Chuck's perception of his feelings. It feels like a blow to the head, and Chuck does his best not to let it show how much it affects him. He knows it's an instinctive reaction - one he observed every time the conversation concerned Yancy - and it's Raleigh's way of protecting himself against the pain. Still, Chuck thinks that he should know by now that Chuck is there for him, will go the way with him and fight by his side no matter what the fight is about. Even if it's to combat painful memories.

Instead Raleigh is shutting him out, and that hurts. Not that he'll admit that. He's not a chick, after all, he can take it.

"You met Yancy." Raleigh's voice is utterly devoid of emotion, and that makes an unpleasant shiver run down Chuck's spine. "Care to elaborate?"

"Well, he kind of ordered me to tell you." Chuck can't help a chuckle that's somewhat forced. "Man, he can be really bossy."

Raleigh looks at him with narrowed eyes, the frown on his face not entirely born out of confusion. There's definitely a note of anger to it. " _What?_ "

Chuck looks down at his boots for moment, then he forces himself to face Raleigh again. "You know the saying - that you can always find your co-pilot in the drift?"

A short nod, tinged with impatience.

"Seems to be true." Chuck makes a point of catching Raleigh's gaze and holding it. "He was in our drift, Raleigh. Actually, he _controlled_ the drift."

Raleigh swallows hard, and Chuck can see something like hurt and a sliver of betrayal in his eyes. When he speaks, there's barely suppressed disappointment and bitterness in his voice. "What do you mean? I've never seen him in a drift."

"Because you were always conscious when drifting." Chuck replies. He has a feeling that he needs to explain this fast or Raleigh will get lost in assumptions directed by hurt and anger. Chuck feels oddly crippled by the shields around Raleigh's mind, he got so used to reading him all the time without even paying attention to it. Their ghost drift was their direct link, maybe not as clear as a drift, but still a sure way to read each other. Only now that it's dulled to almost nothing does Chuck notice how much of their communication happened over their ghost drift. How little they relied on words, inside and outside the drift.

"When I entered the drift, I found myself in the Icebox. Pre-Knifehead. I went to your quarters, but it was Yancy who expected me. You weren't there. He knew he was in a drift, Raleigh." Chuck stops for a moment, not quite sure how to go on. 

"So he's.... alive?" There's so much doubt in Raleigh's voice, and yet Chuck can hear the almost suppressed sliver of hope. It's painful to listen to it.

"Well, if you want to call it that." Chuck knows he has to make the actual situation absolutely clear. No matter what, he will not give Raleigh false hope. "He told me - and I quote - 'there's a consciousness without a body'. Please don't ask me to judge whether that means that somebody is alive or not."

Raleigh's eyes are guarded, but he's listening without interrupting Chuck. He still holds the mug of coffee, but he has obviously forgotten about it. Chuck is glad he never drank from his, because he feels suspiciously like throwing up already.

"You were still connected when.... he died." Chuck hesitates, he knows this is a very sensitive topic, and the last thing he wants is to piss Raleigh off or hurt him in any way. Knowing that he's not the best at being sensitive, Chuck is worried that he might put his foot in his mouth without even intending to. It's the one topic Raleigh will not forgive him if he does. "The drift was never properly disengaged. Yancy said that's how he ended up... well, in your brain. Like all co-pilots are connected, just that you were never disconnected, so to speak."

Chuck stops speaking, but when Raleigh doesn't say or ask anything, he continues. "He told me that he sees what you see, knows what you know, but he can't communicate with you. Well, or anybody else, for that matter. It seems that entering the drift while you were unconscious allowed him to make contact with me." 

Another pause that's only met with silence. It begins to unnerve Chuck, especially since the ghost drift is still disturbingly quiet. "When you sleep... when you were in coma... he said he spent time with you, talked to you, but to you it was just a dream and that the memory of it faded when you woke. Just like any dream."

Raleigh's mouth is pressed into a thin line and there's a frown on his face. He's obviously thinking about what Chuck just told him, and Chuck hates how he can't tell what Raleigh is feeling. If he's hurt or angry, hopeful and relieved or disappointed and betrayed. If he wants Chuck to be there or if he just wants to be left alone. Chuck feels utterly lost and helpless. 

After a long moment of uncomfortable and heavy silence, Chuck clears his throat and gestures at the door. "You should talk to Doc Lightcap and Newt when you feel like it. They've collected all the data, they can probably tell you more."

Raleigh just nods, but still doesn't say a thing. Chuck is so tense that he feels like a tightly wound coil that's about to snap. He needs Raleigh to say something, to do something, to just react. He wants to ask for a reaction, but the stubborn streak in him keeps him quiet. He's just the messenger, after all, he didn't do anything wrong. Raleigh has no right to cut him off and give him the silent treatment. It's not like Chuck personally planted Yancy in his brain.

The silence lasts, but Chuck stubbornly refuses to cave first and break it. Raleigh is staring at the mug in his hands, his eyes narrowed and the frown still firmly in place. There's a faraway look in his eyes, and Chuck desperately wishes for the ghost drift to return to normal so that he knew what's going on in Raleigh's head right now. So that he knew what to do, how to react. 

But the shields don't waver.

When Raleigh finally speaks, it's almost a shock to hear his voice after the long, absolute silence. He's still staring at the mug in his hands. "I... It's..." 

He falls silent again, as if looking for the right words. When he looks up and catches Chuck's gaze, his eyes are unreadable. "I need a moment alone. To think."

"Sure." Chuck grits his teeth and repeats the words 'be patient' in his mind until they become a mantra. He's not good at being patient, and he's even less good at dealing with rejection. He knows this is not what his panicked mind is making it to be, Raleigh is not kicking him out, he's not calling the quits. He just needs time to think, which is an absolutely understandable request considering what he just learned. Chuck would want that too in a situation like this. Perfectly normal.

He can't help that it still feels like a rejection. A rejection of his help, of his concern, of his willingness to just be there. Of his feelings. Especially since the walls are still up in Raleigh's mind and the ghost drift may be there, but it feels almost empty. That's what's unnerves him the most.

"You know where to find me." Chuck presses out and turns on his heel. He waits for Raleigh to call him back, to say something - _anything_ \- for every single step that brings him closer to leaving. 

Nothing comes. The door falling shut behind him sounds almost final.

**Author's Note:**

> First I wanted to call this fic "Big Brother is watching you", but that seemed a bit too creepy and Yancy is not like that, after all. But still, it's somehow true... XD I didn't even know I'd ever write Yancy until I began working on this fic XD
> 
> Also, I'm sorry that it took me so long to post this part, but work was killing me (again), and this fic turned out to be longer than expected (again, too XD). I hope you can forgive me, and I should probably apologise for the cliffhanger already... ^_^
> 
> And the question again: **Would you like to have the Drift Compatible series reposted as a fic with chapters to make downloading easier?** Just leave me a word ^_^


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